A Short Play: "Monsieur Squidward Retches Dryly"
Scene: The sitting room of Monsieur Squidward
Monsieur Squidward:
(Seated upon the divan, a volume in hand) Ah, I have at last completed The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen.
Monsieur SpongeBob:
(Reclining upon the floor, a yo-yo in hand) Oui, I attempted to read that one as well. But it simply did not capture my interest. There was far too much in the way of description for my taste. And Monsieur Franzen strikes me as quite pretentious for a middlebrow writer.
Monsieur Squidward:
(Placing the book upon the table) I see what you mean. There are certainly some lengthy passages of description. But on the whole, I found it to be a respectable novel. Not extraordinary, but not abysmal either.
Monsieur SpongeBob:
(Pausing in his play with the yo-yo) And what did you think of the ending?
Monsieur Squidward:
(Sighing) To be frank, I was somewhat disappointed. It seemed as though Monsieur Franzen was in a rush to conclude the tale and it detracted from the overall impact of the story. I concur with you, Monsieur SpongeBob. Monsieur Franzen can be somewhat pretentious at times.
Monsieur Squidward:
(Seated upon the divan, a volume in hand) Ah, I have at last completed The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen.
Monsieur SpongeBob:
(Reclining upon the floor, a yo-yo in hand) Oui, I attempted to read that one as well. But it simply did not capture my interest. There was far too much in the way of description for my taste. And Monsieur Franzen strikes me as quite pretentious for a middlebrow writer.
Monsieur Squidward:
(Placing the book upon the table) I see what you mean. There are certainly some lengthy passages of description. But on the whole, I found it to be a respectable novel. Not extraordinary, but not abysmal either.
Monsieur SpongeBob:
(Pausing in his play with the yo-yo) And what did you think of the ending?
Monsieur Squidward:
(Sighing) To be frank, I was somewhat disappointed. It seemed as though Monsieur Franzen was in a rush to conclude the tale and it detracted from the overall impact of the story. I concur with you, Monsieur SpongeBob. Monsieur Franzen can be somewhat pretentious at times.
(Suddenly, the door to Monsieur Squidward's sitting room is thrown open and Monsieur Patrick Star enters in a rush)
(Monsieur P. Star defecates upon the floor of Monsieur Squidward's sitting room)
Monsieur SpongeBob:
(Laughs) Oh my goodness, Monsieur Patrick! What on earth are you doing?!
Monsieur Patrick:
Au revoir, Monsieur Squidward! (laughs and rushes out of the front door with his hands held above his head, Monsieur SpongeBob following suit; they run in this manner all the way to Jellyfish Fields)
(Monsieur Squidward sighs and shakes his head as he begins to clean up Monsieur Patrick's mess)
Monsieur Squidward:
(To himself) I cannot believe I no longer have any true friends. (Retches dryly and then allows his gaze to pass slowly, longingly across the audience)